that weekend in la union got me sick!!!haha well i think it started with that goddamn toothache then low resistance then getting rained on because i had to go to fucking embassy thursday night when i could have just gone to la union.

there were only itty bitty beginner waves but hey im always a beginner because of the infrequency of my surf trips.so that was fun being pushed all day by my boyfriend. and so the big realization of that weekend was I AM GOING TO BUY A LONGBOARD dammit. fuck it being heavy and all that jazz.its so easy to use than my 7'2 funboard.and trying to surf with my 7'2 on 2 foot waves wasnt very succesfull.hahaha so im deciding if ill card it nalang and just have two boards.

and that weekend i was supposed to work.HA.me and my bright ideas.

not having my own room to myself for two weeks has severely affected my psyche (wow is taht even a word) i want to work,but i cant because all my things have been shoved into the drawers.i want to scream and throw a tantrum because i havent been working and it is sverely affecting me but i cant because it'll make me look like a selfish bitch.

im not blaming anyone,im not mad at anyone but im just severly annoyed.at no one and at everyone.its not anyones fault that someone got sick and everyone had to fly in to take turns making bantay.its not anyones fault that we live in a small house.and its not anyones fault work related stuff are not going my way.

and i hate hate hate it when my old self resurfaces and all i want to do is stay in the room and just fucking snarl at whoever tries going inside my space.

ARGH.

i think i stopped doing creative things thats why theres a part of me thats feeling dead. but not to worry as i have taken measures to bring the dead part back alive again.

things i want to do

i want to take heart achingly beatufil pictures again.im kind of regretting having sold my seagull now,after i sold it i got some film developed and the pictures were breath takingly beatiful.i guess i was to impatient on trying to use it to its full capacity.i miss it more now ever since i got sick of my LCA.that shits just too easy it spoiled me.

i want to learn how to use my leica camera.i got it during holy week and i still havent read the damn manual.

i want to go to a place where i can skate steadily downhill.coz i hate making padyak.hahahaha

i want make beautiful clothes again.i kind of got stuck in a rut.

i want to start making MEN's CLOTHES!!!yes i will this week.

i want to buy the science of sleep DVD.

i want a new city bike.

i want to earn 100 grand a month.im getting there bitches.

i want i want i want i want a lot of goddamn things to happen to my life.CALLING THE SECRET!let them come to me now!

actually i wished for a mac laptop and i got it.so thats one thing off my list.

so im on solo flight mode right now (sice friday) since adrian left for a 6 day roadtrip.its been fun,doing retarded things with people my age and just hanging out.

its weird tho coz for the past two nights that ive gone out i was always with just guys.and it felt so weird that i was hanging out with them without my boyfriend.

i just lost my train of thought.Oh wow im like shit tired.gotta go.

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work is one big bitch. but at least whenever i get so busy,my bank account doesnt get sad.

so bring on the workload BITCHES!

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in other news,im fine.just been trying to cram as much into 24 hours a day as i can.

i hate bills.

all the enthusiasm that i had for the year has sort of faded for the mean time.

need to get my butt moving.

im back from palawan and im feeling a little bit down coz well,im just back in manila and it means work as usual.but then i declared that 2008 will be the year that im going to take the bull buy the horns and try to ride it like a proper cowgirl.hahaha wow ok.

so here are the 2008 shizms friends

1. work work work.if i can work while sleeping im going to do it.starting tomorrow.haha

2. no more second guessing myself.

3. im bring social back.i think 2007 was my antisocial year plus the mindset of "everyones an asshole" year.so its time to put the party hat on.

4. lastly go to church more often.i have realized in the past two months that having a relationship with Him makes me feel better about myself and it gives me hope because He never lets us down.

So here's to having a bitch slappingly rocking 2008 people!with one extra day to boot!

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
own a freaking business,start a clothing line

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i forgot na last years new years resolutions.hahahaha so i dont know if i kept them

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
none

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
the states and bangkok

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
confidence!

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the la union long weekend surf trip.if i could bottle the fun and stoke we had that weekend id be rich by now

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
i started doing what i knew i was supposed to do.

9. What was your biggest failure?
not planning things well.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
slight flu here and there

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my skateboard,cuckoo the dog and my frogeye

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my mom,she really mellowed out this year.and adrian for being 100 million more patient with me

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
mine.hahahaha damn you mood swings

14. Where did most of your money go?
fun things like cameras and boards and little knick knacks

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
a lot,im pretty excitable

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
the yeah yeah yeah y control

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? still happy,i was happy this time last year
ii. thinner or fatter? a little fatter
iii. richer or poorer? hmmmm thats debatable

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
surf,read

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
wasting time on useless people

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i spent it here in palawan

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
yes with my babybooboo!hahaha baduy.

23. How many one-night stands?
None

24. What was your favourite TV program?
weeds

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yeah a lot.

26. What was the best book you read?
fashion babylon

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
postal service,yeah yeah yeahs lily allen

28. What did you want and get?
independence

29. What did you want and not get?
financial stability

30. Favorite film of this year?
i dunno.cant think of one right now.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i slept.i slept on my 21st birthday.because i was so freaking tired from working for two days straight

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
kita!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
high fashion with cheap fashion.

34. What kept you sane?
knowing that i have responsibilities and i just cant give up on everything

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
i had several fleeting ones.wala na

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
stupid trillanes.oh and eraps pardon too.

37. Who did you miss?
no one naman

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i met a lot of inneresting people this year

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
grin and bear it motherfucker.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

eh kase wala wala wala!!!!!!!!

i really don't like waking up and as soon as you open your eyes you know its not gonna be a good day.and then you listen to songs that are melancholic and then you feel a little bit more sad and then you go on with your day so un-inspired and then it makes you feel so much sadder and the cycle goes on....

the days are all blurry and they merge into what seems like one long long long day.and you inhale deeply and you exhale loudly thinking that it might make that heavy feeling on your chest go away and thenyou realized that it wont that its still there and you end the day and wish that maybe tomorrow,tomorrow will be as bright as the sun and you wont feel so bad anymore.

ack.this feeling sucks big bucks.i wanna go to sleep.

i hate being so fucking dramatic.

shameful.